Making Peace With Your ADHD Brain

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In recent years, several clients have reached out, wanting to discuss either a new diagnosis of ADHD or they suspect that they meet ADHD criteria after witnessing their child being assessed and diagnosed. Seeking more information on the subject led to the creation of this list on what a client can discuss with their therapist in counseling.

First: Do we need to consider our perspective? A past perception of an ADHD diagnosis was that it was negative or that it had a 'stigma'. What if we view the ADHD brain as a gift? Having a neurodivergent (wired differently) brain has positive attributes. ADHD brains process information faster than typical brains; they can be more creative, find more solutions, and find more solutions, faster. Once a person recognizes that ADHD is present, why not admit and capitalize on the ability to hyper-focus (sometimes for hours). When someone with an ADHD brain learns to harness this ability, they can create amazing things. Many entrepreneurs are ADHD'ers who have honed-in on these positive aspects.

Second: ADHD brains respond to external stimulus more quickly than typical brains. This can be a blessing and a curse. Learning to recognize that the brain is experiencing external ‘noise’ can help the individual discern which stimuli to pay attention to (and which to discard). Clients can learn, with different modalities of treatment, how to recognize when the brain is experiencing overstimulation and how to cope with it.

Third: What does an ADHD brain need, physically/ health-wise? It is a great idea to work at helping or correcting the body’s Circadian Rhythm. ADHD brains need exercise / movement early in the morning. Let your eyes stare at the naked sky (without blue blockers in windows or glasses) for a few minutes, even if it’s cloudy. This tells your body to start its own 16-hour countdown to natural Melatonin production, which aids in restful sleep. Next, work on clearing your head in the evening. Say goodbye to the present day. Recap it, journal about it, track where you had emotional spikes, pray about them, talk everything over with Christ (ex. try Ignatian Examen), and GO TO BED. Bedtime routine & good sleep are crucial - try to go to bed at the same time every night. This also means - try to wake up at the same time every day, and while we are treating our bodies well, try to eat at the same times every day. Your brain will love you for it!

Fourth: Make tasks interesting, find the one thing about the task in front of you that could be interesting. If this is too difficult, then start with doing the hardest thing first to get it out of the way (this builds up the brain's resilience.) For boring tasks, limit time spent on boring tasks, if you can, or break them up into short sessions, and/or schedule timed breaks to breath, walk, or move in some way. (Scrolling through social media is not good for these types of breaks, and not good in general, and never recommended.)

Fifth: Recognize and become aware of negative emotional reactions and work to build up a tolerance for them. Try more enhanced emotional regulation and positive reinforcement. Actively work to notice, reduce, and remove all negative self-talk. Then replace it with positive affirmations.

Big emotions are a big part of ADHD and big emotions can lead to emotional dysregulation. Big emotions may have been caused by trauma. If a person had tough things happen in childhood, their young, underdeveloped brain felt the hurt rather deeply. Emotional dysregulation is the inability to control, manage, or accept our emotions or emotional responses. And for some, emotional dysregulation might also mean the inability to respond to positive emotions or being more easily excitable (this may look like gushing or raving on when satisfied). Since ADHD brains can experience big emotions, this also means they have a capacity for vast empathy. It is good to understand the sensitivity to emotions.

If a person didn't feel safe in infancy or childhood for any reason they may have difficulty regulating their emotions or emotional responses as adults. If the care we received as children was not consistent with nurturing, we may have learned not to rely on or trust others, resulting in feeling unworthy or unloved. These negative beliefs threaten our self-esteem and the ability to regulate our emotions.

If a child is constantly admonished for not focusing or for being lazy or unorganized, then he or she may experience shame and low self-worth, which can be carried on through to adulthood. These are the types of issues to work on with a mental health professional.

Learn about and be wary of the following three.

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria - feeling criticized, believing ‘everyone is disappointed in me or doesn't like me’... If a person struggles with RSD, they might notice that once they experience feeling rejected, their entire day can be ruined. Once an ADHD'er feels he or she has failed or can't control something, then shame can set in and a downward spiral begins, which can start a cycle of negative self-talk. ADHD makes people acutely sensitive to what others say or do, and they can be constantly fearful of (and perhaps scanning for) criticism or rejection.

Rumination is over-thinking and/or hyper-focus, which is hard to stop. It increases anxiety, depression, insomnia, over-eating, and substance abuse. It can lead to RSD (above), depression, and/or anxiety.

Negative Bias Memory or Natural Negativity Bias – this is the tendency to register, focus, and dwell on negative information. An ADHD brain remembers the negative things people say and do, more easily. This may be why ADHD'ers appear to be more impulsive, less

patient, have lower tolerance for frustrating events, and more excitable in general. NNB creates higher risk for emotional dysregulation.

To recap: ADHD is a gift! Move and view the sky early; eat at the same times and get ready for bed at the same time every day. Manage your emotions, get help if there is trauma in your past. Learn to recognize and manage negative patterns in thinking.

There are so many resources on this topic, here is just small sample: "Faster Than Normal" podcast, Peter Shankman

“The Vibe With Ky” podcast, Kyrus Keenan Westcott

“ADHD is Awesome: A Guide To (Mostly) Thriving With ADHD” by Penn & Kim Holderness

“Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder” by Gabor Maté

“ADHD for Smart Ass Women: How to Fall in Love with Your Neurodivergent Brain” by Tracy Otsuka

Posted by Michelle M. Browning, March 3, 2026